Sac Lunch
<< close window >>

Aaron Melton
Positions: LF, LC
Bats: R
Throws: R

Aaron is a relentlessly self-improving spray hitter from Novi with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. Aaron will womanize, he will drink. He will make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he will accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. His childhood was typical. Summers in Lake Orion, luge lessons. In the spring he'd make meat helmets. When he was impatient at the plate he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve he received his first bat. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- he highly suggests you try it.

2004 Beaver Tacos
2005 Beaver Tacos
2006 Clown Punchers- Men's E